You landed the deal and
now have the Customer From Hell.
How do you deal with him or her?
Dude, you’re asking the wrong question.
I’m not going to tell you how to deal with your customer from hell. There already is a ton of material on the subject. Here’s a sample of book titles:
- “How to Deal with Difficult Customers: 10 Simple Strategies for Selling to the Stubborn, Obnoxious, and Belligerent”
- “Upset Citizens & Customers: How to Deal With the Angry, Difficult and Demanding Public”
- “Who’s in Charge Around Here? A Guide to Dealing with the Irate Customer and Other Angry and Upset People”
There’s absolutely nothing that says that, once you have someone paying you, they own you. That’s economic slavery. There’s absolutely nothing that says that creating money is supposed to be painful.
Each of the book titles serves a market of business people who make the assumption that they have to deal with customers from hell, and just need to find the right way in how to deal with them.
I have an expression I like to use:
You’re unlikely to encounter icebergs if you sail in the tropics.
What does that mean? Don’t accept these people as customers. And if you have them now, fire them to the greatest extent you can under your existing contractual obligation. Refund money if you need to. Just get rid of them like the stinking, rotting meat in your kitchen trash can. Take out the trash in your customer list and empty it.
Then, don’t let their types back into your business. Screen these people out, just like you’d screen out timewasters who call you on the phone. You’ll be freed from these typical behaviors:
- vampire time suckers — they demand too many meetings, communications, reports, and updates (all of which run over the allotted time)
- slow pays — they’re quick to jump on you for not dedicating your entire company to them, while they in turn somehow can’t pay you on time
- upselling you to add on for free — once they suckered you into serving them, they immediately demand extras for free, often using a variety of tactics that prey on different personality types
- “bet on the come” promises — they lure you over to the dark side with “I have a lot of work for you. Since I’m going to give or refer to you mountains of business very soon, I want you to begin by discounting your products or services.”
Their behaviors are calculated to seize upon your weakness and, like a piano solo that uses the full range of notes from the sustained deep bass to the pinging high notes, they can end up deploying their full arsenal to appeal to you. Here are a few:
- “I need your help” – whether they take on the role as victim or oppressor, just understand that all forms of this are manipulative. Either “you’re such a wonderful person for doing this, I really appreciate it” (appeals to your need for esteem and recognition from others) OR, you’re a lousy excuse for a human being for not dropping what you’re doing and helping them or agreeing to insanely low pricing (appeals to your weakness for falling into conditional love traps: “do this and I’ll love you”)
- Schoolyard bully — They use a plainly communicated threat of violence. They’re the best of the worst, and it’s just what you want from them: a huge advertisement that says, “I’m a customer from hell. Want to be beaten to a bloody pulp?” Like a vicious, drooling, barking Doberman held safely behind a fence, you know what happens if you open the gate and let them out. Don’t let the dogs out.
- Hired gun — “I got my attorney negotiating for me, so just give in to what I want and nobody gets hurt.” If you’ve been involved in this, you may have noticed that the last paragraph of every attorney’s letter is always a threat. I believe this is taught in law school, and most of the time the threat has absolutely nothing to do with the deal points being negotiated.
And like the piano player, they can mix up different styles, like the one my partners and I experienced:
They began with “bet on the come” promises by spotlighting a faint glimmer on the distant horizon of an endless stream of work to follow if we do this phase to their satisfaction, communicated in bullying foul language up to 10 times a day on matters not related to the work at hand, then, when we delivered first-class goods, they declared them to be the worst they’ve ever seen and not only demanded that we redo it but add extra services for free as a penalty.
Instead of reading a library of books on how to deal with customers from hell, just decide to sail in the tropics so you don’t encounter icebergs.
Life is short, and you (and I and everyone else) only have so much time here on earth. You and I also get to choose our experiences and our emotions. It’s a matter of knowing what you want to order from the menu of life. May I take your order?
What’s your experience? Have you had to deal with angry or difficult customers or clients? Looking back on it, did they give you warning signs that they might be angry or difficult? Were you too inexperienced to recognize those signs? Or were you so focused on landing the deal in order to get crucial revenue that you became colorblind to their red flags, or told yourself you’ll put up with their behavior and be willing to go through hell to get that money? What else did you learn from your experience? Are there some behaviors you’ve experienced that aren’t listed above? If so, please share. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this … good or bad. Add your experiences, opinions, questions, requests, and comments below now:
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You summed it up pretty well Bill. I have inherited clients from other sales reps who couldn’t let go of all their issues from the prior regime and wouldn’t allow me to “earn the right” to their respect. Once I did, it wasn’t long before they were back on their high horses. Ultimately, these people live and deal with confrontation and unfortunately, that’s how they best respond. At 6′3″ and 280 lbs, I can be an intimidating force and sometimes all it takes is stepping forward into their faces…to make sure you understand their problem…and watch them backpeddle. You can actually make it fun. I have other techniques, but best saved and discussed over a beer.
Roger,
With your tactic of stepping forward into their faces — your 280 lbs supported by your 6′3″ stature — we need to reverse the roles in the picture above: you’re on the left giving the customer on the right some hell!
Good Bill! Listening, being compassionate and placing yourself on the same playing field with these types may take every ounce of restraint, but in extreme cases, still may not work. Always best to use proper decorum, but as you ditched your problem account recently, cleaning house any way that you can will renew your sense of worth and allow you to focus on brighter horizons. If that means taking a step forward, saying “YOUR FIRED”, or simply referring them to your worst competitor, it becomes a “whatever it takes” approach to rid yourself of things that simply slow you down. Nice job on landing that $60k account!